Friday, May 04, 2007

With Martial Vigor

"Philosophy"

If I should labor through daylight and dark,
Consecrate, valorous, serious, true,
Then on the world I may blazon my mark;
And what if I don’t, and what if I do?


"I just wanna go into a frenzy. I really wanna hurt someone. Like God honestly knock someone's teeth out."
Brittany falls into the TV.
Deep blues, greens, and gold.
For Semra, I wrote.
Jeremy's spoken.

"Resume"
Razors pain you; / River are damp; / Acids stain you; / And drugs cause cramp. / Guns aren't lawful; / nooses give; Gas smells awful; / You might as well live.


R.I.P. :-(

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Causing the scene

I painted over the writing on the wall.

Monday, April 30, 2007

-What do you want?
-All of you?

Friday, April 27, 2007

Looking at the map

of where I am right now is enough to give me vertigo.

2:24pm

The last half-hour is always the longest.

"Andrea, will my foot ever get better?"

"That's going on 'Word is Bond!'"

Well, now it's here, Angie Baby!

Clearly, back handsprings are a surefire method of recovery. Perhaps Emeline can write her Honors thesis on their miraculous healing powers, akin to holistic therapy. My Honors thesis, meanwhile, will likely be a story that goes on for a long while with something happening here and there, that Kelsey and I will find funny but will only prompt an occasional half-smile out of everyone else. Like, you know, life.

Anna Molly

Fate
or something better
I could care less
Just stay with me for awhile

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Things I held sacred/that I dropped

((Clever line, Audioslave.))

I'd forgotten how I enjoyed speaking in a semi-seductive voice over the radio, somehow knowing what song should follow the next. I am always two tracks ahead.

I'd forgotten that I enjoyed portraying someone else, or an extension of myself, for an audience. I like the instant gratification; I love to make you laugh.

Why the heck

am I enjoying myself and not feeling overwhelmed???

Note to self: Add Indiana Jones to list of movies.

Now, if we could get this metatarsal to heal in an efficient manner, then heck, I'd feel unstoppable. :-)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The lights are off in the house. Someone could come out from this silent darkness and nobody would ever hear besides the three of us: Someone, the Raker, and me.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Vulnerable

Is
standing in the
middle of the street,
playing basketball,
four foot five,
with long
girlish locks
blocking your
vision.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

1996 Compulsories

"I'd like Gary to say that to me," Brittany muses.

"Say what?" I ask, looking up from painting my nails a Vixen shade of red.

"That he'll always protect me."

Sometimes:

I smile,
nod,
and wonder,
Why the hell
are you
telling
me
this?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

It gets hard.

I mean, what the heck do we know, anyway?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter Sunday, pondering "fanaticism" a.k.a. "fundamentalism"

Zero degrees Kelvin. The event horizon. +1 + -1 = O.

Nothing.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

You know you're a nerd

when you post on WebCT at 1am. And you're not behind on the assignment.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Empathy?

Either way I look at it, I'll never have exactly what I want.

And perhaps we're not supposed to.

I would like to drive fast with the music playing loudly, the lyrics telling me what I should do and feel. And then I would return and write and be applauded.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

So fun!

Seriously, who am I?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

"Evidently those gynecologist appointments go like hot cakes."

To my faithful and fearless fellow obsesser-over-gymnastics, radio station frolicker, floor runner-arounder, stationary bicycle racer, rehab champion, and PARTNER 4 LIFE:

GOOD LUCK! If there's any pain, just take an Advil. You'll be fine in the morning. It never happened. ;-)

I picked red grapes and wondered,

Are "safe" and "sane" synonymous?

Monday, March 26, 2007

Some girls

stake their territory by robbing their boyfriend's wardrobe. Large T-shirts, baseball sweatshirts, sweatpants, even boxers are looted for their own. I have a boyfriend, the battered T-shirt proclaims when it is worn on a female body. It turns her shapeless. Is that what she wants?

I, on the other hand, have my boyfriend's sock. Singular. Comfortable and clean. I do not need to brandish it as proof of my conquest.
It can't be thundering, I think as I sleep.

Then comes the sound I have not heard in a long while: rain bouncing off the roof.

For some reason I open my eyes and sit up with "Angels We Have Heard on High" in my head.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

i Me gusta este poema !

"Verbo" ~ Pablo Neruda

Voy a arrugar esta palabra,
voy a tercerla,
si,
es demasiado lisa,
es como si un gran perro o un gran rio
le hubiera repasado lengua o agua
durante muchos anos.

Quiero que en la palabra
se vea la aspereza,
la sal ferruginosa,
la fuerza desdentada
de la tierra,
la sangre,
de los que hablaron y de los que no hablaron.

Quiero ver la sed
adentro de las silabas:
quiero tocar el fuego
en el sonido:
quiero sentir la oscuridad
del grito. Quiero
palabras asperas
como piedras virgenes.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The way they talk, they make you forget that you'd find stars out in the suburbs. But here you are on a clear night, with streetlights, driveway torches, and headlights boring in and out.

You look up when you're stepping over the curb or balancing on gravel. You raise your eyes as you wonder about crazed men running out from the bushes. You stare into the expanse and blink, opening your eyes from your narrow thoughts. You wanted a quick fix. You wanted home. You wanted sleep.

Your world is dark blue and green right now, the way you always remembered it. The temperature must be below thirty but you swear you can smell spring. The air is always salty, you imagine.

The stars arch over the evergreens. So many stars, you realize again. Your feet wobble and logic returns you to the terrestrial.

You move towards the tangible lights in the windows, slowly, still watching.

I can be someone.

Is it a question? A declaration?

A dream?

We "make and bake" ON PREMISES


Big fan of the new template. Big fan.
So I figured I'd celebrate with a picture.
I'm also a big fan of being back in Cortland, walking with "Das Boot," doing, moving, dreaming. I like what I'm writing, or at least the premises. I like walking through campus at night, shadows on the snow and music in my ears.
I also like that Liz photoshops her eye color in her Facebook pictures. Gotta keep them guessing, you know!
A pleasant lunchtime discussion about death with Rachel, Liz, and Steve:
Steve: "It's nothing...it's beyond our conception of dark, because we know what 'dark' is...it's really something that we don't know! Isn't that scary?"
Diana: "No, I find it comforting."
The definition of manliness = the secure knowledge that if a random attacker were to approach, your male companion would be the one protecting you, not vice versa.
Ah. I like these PWR people!


Saturday, March 17, 2007

The 6th of July? 2002

"I think people think I'm nuts when I write them long notes or e-mails, or write in-depth entries for All Quiet on the Western Front, or write twenty pages instead of three. Don't you see, I'm not like you, I can't say it all."

7-31-02
"Well, in place of driver's ed, I cleaned the bathroom. Wahoo."

Friday, March 16, 2007

Some nights I want the world. Some nights I want to sleep. Some nights these desires flip flop, there and back again. In the end it’s me, just me, a laptop away from a bed.

What he said

"So he says, 'I was taught to never be an inconvenience,' so I said, 'Well, I was taught to do anything for anyone.' Seriously, if it weren't for that red light, he would have left me there."

I recognize that second person in myself. I'd rearrange my schedule in any way possible if it would relieve you for me to do so. (As long as, of course, it didn't conflict too nearly with gymnastics.)

But are we taught this? Do we watch it? Or do we just feel it to be right?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Excerpt

You consider yourself an expert on the injured area. It becomes yours, somehow, yet something very distinct from you. “How are you?” and “How’s the knee?” are not the same question. Oh, I’m doing just fine. The knee’s a bit under the weather, though. We may go out to lunch later.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Besides

kicking an impending cold and the fact that I cannot do gymnastics (besides, again, the kips), I'm feeling relaxed. Content. At ease. Enough to not worry about work and consider instead that perhaps I'll gain some sweet abs. ((Which will make up for the seven or so pounds that I've apparently lost -- yay for white hot chocolate?))

Atlas Shrugged

"She looked at him in the exact moment when he turned to look at her. They stood very close to each other. She saw, in his eyes, that he felt as she did. If joy is the aim and the core of existence, she thought, and if that which has the power to give one joy is always guarded as one's deepest secret, then they had seen each other naked in that moment."

"She felt no anger towards anyone on earth. The things she had endured had now receded into some outer fog, like pain that still exists, but has no power to hurt. Those things could not stand in the face of this moment's reality, the meaning of this day was as brilliantly, violently clear as the splashes of sun on the silver of the engine, all men had to perceive it now, no one could doubt it and she had no one to hate."

"It was the greatest sensation of existence: not to trust, but to know."

Monday, March 12, 2007

Tiny Dancer

Blue jean baby,
L.A. lady,
seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile,
you'll marry a music man

Ballerina, you must have seen her
dancing in the sand
And now she's in me,
always with me,
tiny dancer in my hand

Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back, she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad

Piano man, he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on, she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh, how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can hear me
When I say softly, slowly,

Hold me closer, tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
You had a busy day today

Friday, March 09, 2007

"Don't you have a $u*% button at the radio station?"

"No, but I wish I had one"

..

Wouldn't it be nice to type music the way it should be heard?

Is tomorrow really the last day before Spring Break? Does it actually feel like spring anywhere in New York? And do I really sound like Anne of Green Gables when on the phone?

All this and more questions to come!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Chatrooms and David the Gnome on YouTube

As the four of us converse in a chatroom, a la high school, I think of how we'd be driving aimlessly around Long Island, calling each other and eventually finding each other in a parking lot. If we were feeling particularly extravagant, a diner could be in the cards.

Salt on the night air. I'll never forget home.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

As long as I find some opportunity to

go for a swim, then maybe I should relax a bit. Despite the crutches, the arctic temperatures, and the x-rays. I've accomplished three, four, five things that I've really wanted already this year.

But I want to improve them.

For now, I pace on my hands.

Hold me here until I sleep

And if these are my parting words
Then this, my last request
Hold me here until I sleep
If I burn, then I burn for you
-Anberlin, "Cadence"

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

11:00pm

As we've all realized at one point or another,

this is going to take longer than I'd thought.

Movies that Diana "Needs to See:" An Evolving List

-Stand By Me
-Lost in Translation
-The Life of Brian (in full)
-A Beautiful Mind
-Gladiator
-Amelie
-Lucky Number Slevin
-The Wicker Man
-Pride and Prejudice
-Blazing Saddles
-Motorcycle Diaries
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
-Shakespeare in Love
-the latest version of Romeo and Juliet

5.20.2007: I have seen Borat, Moulin Rouge, Shrek the Third, V for Vendetta, and "Harsh Times," all of which I enjoyed. Especially, of course, the latter.

3.5.07

It's more than a little frightening that I'm still very fond of the song "Sexy Love."

Ahem.

We roam the house like tired old women at age twenty-one. "I'm so tired!" we moan at 9:30. Are we asleep by midnight? Of course not.

"Oh, wait," Tanya says, in monologue fashion, as she slowly picks herself up in the den. "Maybe I'm tired from using crutches all day."

"In the white out," I add, my Ace-bandaged foot in its usual perch on top of the desk, next to the computer.

"And would you understand? Yes, you would!" She shuffles out of the den. "You actually use them properly."

As I left the house in the aforementioned whiteout, I looked up the hill and realized that I could barely see the top. I am going to get run over. I fleetingly thought of missing class. I knew that plenty of others would.

Yet I proceed anyway, bravely forging my way through certain peril and potential disaster. First a guy driving in the opposite direction, and later a girl going the same way as me, offered a ride out of the window. Unfortunately, I've been trained too well to say yes to strangers.

What does it mean that I crutched from Pleasant to Old Main, freezing, tapping the crutches together occasionally in hopes of shaking off a bit of snow and not falling on my face, politely declining aid beyond a door being held open?

Probably the very simple fact that I'm stubborn.

In the training room, Tanya and Christine compete to see who can bend their leg more. As five of us on six tables ice or kick, we realize that we've all torn our ACL's. We love gymnastics. We do. As we take over the bars, kipping and conditioning and hopping and not stumbling in front of the trainers, we refuse to be broken.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

3.4.07

Everywhere you look in this house, there are two couples behind closed doors, two pairs of crutches, and two girls with compression wraps.

I woke up at 12:30am

or so, as everyone returned to the house. Emeline was back from Buffalo, gymnastics trophy in hand. "Are you asleep?" she asked, peering through the cracked open door. I wouldn't go so far as to describe myself as conscious, but we carried on a conversation about notorious out-of-state individuals who will forever be fabled in these parts.

It seemed like a good opportunity for a bagel and fruit punch-flavored water (100% Vitamin C, you know). A couple of coconut-filled Hershey's kisses, conversations, and peer-editing(s) later, I now consider sleep, wondering:

Why haven't I thrown away all of these nearly empty water bottles?
How do three people tear their ACL's in one week?
I should sweep the floor.
I should probably go to the bathroom.
I should probably organize the books on the ground.
I probably won't.
What will I do at home when I can't do full gymnastics? (Answer: Be creative.)
I like how the intense-looking bruising is nowhere near the fracture.
I'd like to be near you.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Corey Union

"...It was a competition to see who was hotter," Brittany reflects.

"Clearly, you won," Tanya and I say in unison.

High five!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

"If I were on American Idol,

I'd dedicate my song to GTB," I say.

"Me, too," agrees Tanya. "I'd sing 'Sexual Healing.'"

sing this song


If I turn into another

Britt and I struggle through another night of our middle-class existence.

the better part of me


Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Perfectly content.


In that moment, untouchable.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

sigh.

Well, you know, it could always be worse. Like if I died from taking three Tylenols...thanks, Em!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Good friends.

It'll make for a good story, I think, that Emeline helped push my car from where it helplessly spun in the Wash Tub parking lot, shoveled off the driveway entrance with me (the Tub should give us free laundry for doing them such a service, I feel), directed my reverse driving, found a parking spot in an apartment lot across the street, and followed me there in her pajama pants.

Our hands are numb inside of our gloves and our skin screams from our faces in the wind, but I do have ice cream for her.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

In honor of 2-13,

Why Staying Together is Easier Than Breaking Up.

According to social scientists Angie Baby and DJ Di, a break up entails...

-redecorating the entire room. Down go the photos, frames, cute mementos, and random objects that you've accumulated.
-debating whether or not to hide or destroy said photos and items.
-revamping the profile. Making sure that you appear to be having the time of your life.
-besides late at night after a night with the girls, when "What Hurts the Most" lyrics appear on the away message. Crooked face optional.
-to read or not to read the other person's away messages? Remove from Buddy List? Block?
-what to do about Facebook? "It's complicated?" What if the other party doesn't agree? De-tag photos? Delete person as friend? Leave relationship status blank? "Looking For" = "Random Play" and/or "Whatever I can get," but is that too desperate? To poke back or not to pack back?
-and, of course, GTB will found out, sing your away message to you, and taunt you.

Trust us, kids, it's easier to stick it out.
"'My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon'...or is it h-u-n?"

"I thought those were the German invaders."

"Weren't those the Visigoths?"

"Maybe both?"

"And you don't have an anaconda."

"That's what you think."

Only two and a half years later,

I realize that the purpose of college is to invert the word home beyond recognition, making you feel comfortable and disjointed wherever you find yourself.

Friday, February 09, 2007

It's Friday already??

Don't let anybody take away your power.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Hold me closer, tiny dancer...

And now I feel that everything will be okay.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

otra intro

I will come to your waters and stand still, lest my breath cause a ripple. Your light shimmers over them. You move and shadows bend for you.

You are…you are a Phoenix, says the shirt beneath your blue-and-red vest.

You’ve yet to stare at me coldly, and I am encouraged. You’ve also yet to stare at me with recognition. But I am not deterred. I’ve returned to the line for your register four times over the past week.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Re: Evolution of Writing lecture, 1.31.07

Is artificiality natural to humans?

Por supuesto.

Why else would I write and edit and reconsider if I didn't think of the effect it may have on someone else?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Why Sunday Was Awesome:

"I was checking 'Word is Bond' the other night..." I love you, Angie Baby!

-It was somewhat warm in Rhode Island
-I COMPETED...
-and did not fall
-on the floor
-or
-off of it
-in "the catsuit"
-and screamed to the dehydration point and back again
-and then, despues de muchas risas,
-we arrived home, and I found an elusive odd spot to park in.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

This likely won't come as a

surprise to anyone who knows me, but I'm glad to be busy, glad to be rushing quickly through the slush, repeatedly checking assignments and logging into about fourteen different webpages in the name of "Writing in Cyberspace," heading to practice and back again, thinking doing thinking doing thinking doing. I like when they're equal and towards a common, positive goal.

A common, positive goal. I was focused, calm, and clean, without rush or struggle. Continue, sigue.

And I'm pretty fascinated by the fact that iTunes actually organizes all of the music on your computer for you.

Snowflakes.

Monday, January 22, 2007

And what I really mean to say...

is something that I'm not sure what to say about yet. Or think.

It's what I want.

Exactly.

Can I make it happen?

I believe so.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Emeline - I forgive you as long as we go to Doug's sometime in the nearish future."

"Diana - I apologize for borrowing the journal for academic notes."

"Weird" seems right enough.

I'm weirdly glad to be back in Cortland. I just didn't want to be there anymore, in that mindset. Now I'm comfortably tired to the point where I can't think too specifically. It's nice.

There are things and people that I will have to let go of, or should let go of, or will have to think of letting go of, and what if I don't want to?

The bed's no longer a mess.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The quest:

To write a *meaningful* story.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

English is a funky language.

Whilst speaking online
to Emeline
this afternoon,
I noticed that
"good"
and
"food"
do not rhyme.
(Nor do
"online"
and
"Emeline,"
if you know her.)
("Rhyme" could
almost, though.)

What "shouldn't" be said

If you begin a story with, "This might make me sound like a bad person" or "It seemed like a good idea at the time" or "I probably shouldn't be telling you this," then you've got my full attention.

This has the makings of an early night.

Even my alarm sounded too tired to be set.

Monday, January 15, 2007

your stories have gone stale

Glad you had fun, kids, but Saturday night's over.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Emeline is back in the country!!!


Emeline's mom: "Tell Brittany not to fall on her ass."
Tanya: "OMG! I have to call Brittany!" ::calls Brittany about three times and yells this to her. It is questionable if Brittany has even answered her phone::
Emeline: "My mom is going on the wall!"
"I reallllllly need to pee!" she calls.

"I'm almost done!" I say calmly.

My teeth, of course, need to be thoroughly brushed. The water certainly needs to be turned on. Hot and cold. A little stronger. There we go.

I listen to the stream and smile a foamy, devious smirk.

Friday, January 12, 2007

"You make that look effortless,"

and if only the thought process could follow in the same way.

It always gets better. It just doesn't seem so at the time.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

. . .

She is not impressed.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

!!!

Dear Diana,

This letter is to inform you that your submission to Toasted Cheese has made it past first reading and will be read by the full editorial board this month. It is not an acceptance letter. You will be notified of our final decision in early February.

In the meantime, keep writing!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Sunday, January 07, 2007

10:10 pm

A sweet cop-out: I've ended this story by using a line previously appearing in the story. Oooh, yeah.

The stars flickered gently in the windows. So many stars.

(Fun with italics!)
There's a bit of a fog about me. I could call it a dream, but if it were so, I would not be here.

[He] had always seen himself floating above the aurora borealis, above the ice caps, in soundless serenity.

Monday, January 01, 2007

in transit

"It was always like that: she was gone and other people were where they belonged. She was going up or down stairs; other people seemed to be settled somewhere." - Toni Morrison

99 Bananas

Why not one more to make it one hundred?

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

There is no end of the world.

Only the wind feels like winter.

Foam fizzes and flies, sun breaks against gray clouds and blue crests, I raise my camera, and suddenly this all ceases. This becomes nothing on a tiny digital screen.

My bare hands hold steady against the wind as my hair flies in front of the flash. Flash, flash, do I even need one? The old man in the gray car holds his camera, a real camera, an artistic one. His luck will be the same as mine. The lens mutes and diminishes, except for the very talented or the very lucky.

But I focus and capture anyway. The Sound leaps, shatters, and recedes.

All is as it should be. There is no end of the world.

I step down from the cement to leave. The old man's face is in his hands.

Does he agree?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

As she walks across the dark yard

and I turn on the music that reminds me of long drives for one person, I wonder how it is that two people who love each other can hurt one another so deeply.

And, yet, continue to love. Unceasingly.

Will that be me? I wonder now and then.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

nervous

And what if my words were to fail me?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Bright nights and quiet noises.

And my goodness, am I really about to be twenty-one tomorrow?!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Sure, she'll tear up, but she's a fighter.

They'll pull you apart and rebuild you. But they will never break you.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I don't always like when my dreams come true.

Matchbox Twenty comes through, again.

I'd forgotten how much I liked this song or how emblematic it was until 105.1 played it today during practice. My head went up. I listened intently, waiting to hear "shit" bleeped out. Nobody else noticed.

It's sitting by the overcoat
the second shelf, the note she wrote
that I can't bring myself to throw away
and my soul reaches out for no one else but you,
cuz you won't turn away
when someone else is gone
I'm sorry 'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
but no one else would take this shit from me
and I'm so terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away
It's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
Hey, it's me, and I can't get myself to go away
Oh, God, I shouldn't feel this way, no
Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
And no, Lord, your hand won't stop it
just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
Well, I'm surprised that you'd believe
in any thing that comes from me
I didn't hear from you or from someone else
and you're so set in life man, a pisser they're waiting
too damn bad you get so far so fast
So what, so long...

And somehow, sexy.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

whisper

There's only one question I'd really like to answer.

Eventually. Eventually.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

To Build A Fire

Face down. Red burn. Eyes against the cold. Push through. Push through.

Barely an inch of snow on the ground. A ten-minute walk, and I want to run to warmth. After all, nobody is around to stand witness at 7:50am.

But I walk anyway.

How the hell'd you do it, Jack London?

Friday, December 08, 2006

LAST DAY OF CLASSES

No, really, I am that excited.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

PRESSURE! ::thinks of Billy Joel::

It seems that my most "productive" writing comes
when I am forced into it, in the style of AP tests and take-home finals.
"Only spend two hours on this!"
My integrity agrees,
and in all honesty, who would want to linger over such "timed" essays?
This is not meant to be a poem. I just don't have to
fill out line after line of revelatory analysis,
or even sit at the computer any longer (and you know I will!)
and I say,
"YAY!"

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

No quiero Taco Bell!

After perusing the local newspaper online, I decided I wanted to see a more global perspective on the world. In an LA Spanish-language newspaper, I found....THIS.

ESTO!

I think my favorite part might be the fact that Long Island is called an "estado de Nueva York"; a state of New York.

For the record, I have never eaten Taco Bell. Clearly, that's about to change.

Hemingway, more appealing to me at the moment

"It moved up closer to him still and now he could not speak to it, and when it saw he could not speak it came a little closer, and now he tried to send it away without speaking, but it moved in on him so its weight was all upon his chest..."
-"The Snows of Kilimanjaro," Hemingway

What a relief it is to wake up,
feeling nothing but a little tired.
Even the bitter blast is all right, at least from in here.

And:

'"Love is a dunghill,' said Harry. 'And I'm the cock that gets on it to crow.'"

A step up from The Old Man and the Sea, to be sure!

under the radar

I feel less vulnerable this way. For now.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Ahhh, eff it, I've lost my train of thought for the night!

I shall post this compliment, courtesy of Rachel:

"You'll be like Jesus...Only shorter...And more agile."

Monday, December 04, 2006

el primer caido oficial de la nieve

Sometimes, as I walk down the sidewalk, I have the urge to flip.

sincerity

So many eyes, and when it mattered, I didn't let the glow of their gaze melt me.

I thought I would. They would smile at me, for certain. But behind those smiles I sensed the question: Why are you here? The lean forward, eyes narrowed, hand on the chin stance. Hmm.

I am not hmm, the uncertain nonword. I am not yet who I will be, but that day I stretched my arms and let you see the current draft in progress. There are words. There are scribbles, there are scratches, there are stains, and there are words.

And as I moved away, yet ever before your view, I forgot you were watching. You smiled, in the end, sincerely, because I was and few others were.

I land. The affirmative punctuation.

This is only the beginning.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

we write when

other stories become too boring.

Friday, December 01, 2006

balmy december first

My umbrella's long since blown inside out, and as I watch other girls hurry past, hoods huddled to their hair, I let the rain hit and slick and frizz my hair as much as it wishes.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

System of A Down.

Kneeling roses disappearing into
Moses' dry mouth
Breaking into Fort Knox stealing
Our intentions
Hangers sitting dripped in oil

Crying freedom
Handed to obsoletion,
Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth
Everybody's going to the party

have a real good time
Dancing in the desert
blowing up the sunshine

You can't call me political, and a good deal of those allusions waft pass me, and I should be researching ETA in "real books" as opposed to random websites about Star Wars merchandise, but I can't deny the catchiness of that song.

Monday, November 27, 2006

She should step more confidently, I think, and I should tell her this.