Wednesday, May 18, 2005

i'm alive

I had about three hours before I was supposed to leave. No matter. I wanted to see how this would look. Would I recognize myself? Would they even want me back?

Black and red. Tight against my skin. Hands on hips.

I look stronger already.

I walked back in and it was like I had never left. The same lovable crew. The same spasticity. I restrain myself from getting too ahead of myself, but whatever I do, I feel strong. It's been seven months and three days and I haven't felt so good in all of this time.

I don't ever want to feel
like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

The part of me that was memory and imagination this whole time -- she is back.

My whole body is sore today, and I love it. I've already been coerced into covering people's classes.

I'm finally alive again.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

bringing it home

Of course, since I'm on a roll, I step out of the action to write about said roll on my blog, which nobody will read except out of boredom.

That's okay.

Here's the task. I meander through, placing word after word and wondering where it will go. Sometimes, nowhere. I stare for minutes at a time. I change some, omit a few, add here and there. Is this working? I'm not sure, but I hope so. I leave it for another time, hopefully a more inspired time.

Then another angle comes to mind. I'll try this out. I move from the origin. This is working. You may not see this yet. But I feel it.

Faster and faster. Confidence. I know I can do this. This is right. This is exactly where it was meant to flow. I've got this now. I'm excited. You should be too. You will be, once you catch on.

I was never one to tremble under pressure. I'm bringing it home. Exactly as I know how.