Thursday, January 31, 2008

learning to fly

What have you done for yourself?

I have fallen. But this time, intentionally.

My feet strike the beam as my hands push off. I raise my head, flick the fingers, move to the next skill as my heart gasps in relief.

5, 6, 7, 8. Wait, lift, twist. Okay. I stand above them, look at the wall and imagine it’s a crowd, know that I am as strong as the hands that clasp my ankles, know that although I do not know them well, I do not want to let them down.


I reach my hands to the sky. I look up. And I let myself fall.

I feel air, I twist, I land on my back. The way I was never supposed to when I walked into this room for another sport.


I'd begun thinking this year that just once, I'd like to know how it would feel to twist twice in the air. But I didn't know how that would happen, how the knee and limbs would be protected.

Nearly three years to learn a full from a full run, and now, ten minutes to twist a double from their hands.

I left last night and thought that I no longer need you to push me. I don’t know why I have allowed you to have that power: One hand in my hand and the other around my neck.

This is not your time.

I am busy battling someone else; I choose when to confront gravity and when to accept it. But always with a twist. I know you live, Gravity. But so do I.

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