(Set to the tune of "Hey, Jude" --> check it!)
Dear Emeline (Body Mass, as Britt would have it),
Remember that time Beth convinced me it would be a good life decision to try out for cheerleading? And I made it? And you helped me get ready for my first game in secret, then texted your mom a picture? And then the next morning I slumped into the den and Tanya noticed that one of my pupils was dilated? So you made me hide my face in your pillow and then shone a light into my eye to see if it reacted? And then throughout the week you forwarded me information about strokes, most likely while you were working at the library desk and I was on the computers there?