hard enough to wake me

I have a lot to say.

For once I want to be the car crash
Not always just the traffic jam

Dreams again: Fell asleep while driving. Too many hours at the wheel cannot keep my eyes open. I deny it - I can't remember - but my mom says disapprovingly that they saw the marks on the side of the highway -

vaguely I recall car spinning -

Hit me hard enough to wake me.

I had been leaving your house, but you were no longer there.

And if the road gets rocky,
just steady as we go.

"Jeep rider's disease." Delightful. Antibiotics remind me of why I never cared much for medication - sudden thirst and sudden sleep.

Steph: "dear diana, cortland is not the same without you ... lets rewind k bye."

For no reason at all, friends have come out in full force these past few days and I realize how many people I love - how many love me.

I've got this adventure coming up. They want to hear. Wish me well. But want me back sooner rather than later.

I'm gaining pounds
on the precipice of too late.

Seems that I've recovered a couple of the pounds I'd lost the past few days. Probably for the best. After all...

Dear Diana:

Please learn to plan ahead better; i.e., when exercising and driving for an hour each and preparing to cater in decently warm weather, eat more than three slim slices of cinnamon bread and a glass of orange juice.

Sincerely,
the black spots in your eyes and ringing in your ears

Reach out
and take it
'Cause I'm so tired of all this fear.

Jingling cell phone music shakes me awake each morning. Sometimes earlier than I'd intended - a random call or message. Sometimes precisely on time.

Call me silly. But each morning the ringer sings me from sleep - always startled, disoriented - I wonder if it's from you.