-You know everyone by his/her first name. If multiple people have the same name, an adjective quickly distinguishes the identity, i.e. "Crazy Nikki."
-You know all of the UPD officers by name.
-You know all of the guards and which ones will ID you (a.k.a. almost none of them).
-You have been Shabazz'ed.
-More than once.
-You have seen Sean's nipples.
-More than once.
-Sherrille has told you that something does not belong to you.
-You or someone you know has hooked up with the same person as half the school.
-You or someone you know has played beer pong on an armoir in a vacant room.
-" " has smoked weed in a room.
-Or rolled a blunt in Wainscott.
-You hear Ama's voice from across campus.
-And Deana's laugh.
-Pick-up basketball is the main campus sport.
-Off-campus life consists of the same parties, occasional sketchy club outings, and for those of age, adventures at Tidewater.
-You've Facebook-chatted suitemates, people in the same building, and people across "the quad."
-You participated in the snowball fight, closely monitored by Joe.
-You realize that despite how small the school is, nobody ever seems to know what's "officially" going on.
-However, when people hook up or get written up, you find out immediately.
-You recognize that deadlines don't matter.
-You've played Scattergories on a Friday night for sheer lack of other things to do.
-And somehow, you manage to stay up 'til sunrise on such nights.
-Gaming Night was the highlight of your night (and maybe semester).
-You attended a school dance that was an awkward mix of current students and prospective freshmen.
-You remember the sweaty guy who was the sole survivor of the dance floor.
-You or someone you know was serenaded by Sarah.
-You've participated in a Shelter dance party.
-Your eating habits depend on what FSA serves that day.
-You've eaten undercooked rice with various objects from previous meals tossed in.
-But it tastes better when Dusty serves you.
-7-11 becomes real food after midnight.
-You've been tagged in a photo by Kenny.
-You've become, to quote Sherrille, "emotionally invested" in the relationship between two RA's.
-Yet you wonder. If it's not on Facebook, is it happening???
-Your friends don't believe this is a real college.
-Neither do you.
-There's no such thing as an "upperclassmen," no matter what your credits say.
-You or someone you know has had a horrendous time in advising (cough Caralyn).
-You've crept into the windmill, manson, Wainscott, the Montauks.
-You wish you lived in the Montauks.
-The parking lot has eight cars on the weekend.
-You're pissed when you have to park behind the Peconics, especially at night.
-For a Shelter or Greenport resident, the lot by Amagansett is simply too far.
-You've tie-dyed in the laundry room of Shelter or Greenport.
-You've begun to confuse the dorm names with the town names. You say you're going to Greenport and someone asks, "Why so far?" Someone says, "I'm from Amagansett" and you ask, "The building or the town?"
-You never heard of these towns previously (cough Lauren).
-You've crawled in or out of a room via window.
-You've rented Marine Center boats without being boat certified.
-You've heard sketchy stories about the reservation.
-You've talked to Eric.
-A happy gathering has been unhappily interrupted by the entrance of Sam.
-You use the phrase "epic fail" daily, often in regards to your life.
-You hear the word "sustainable" daily.
-You don't really see "sustainability" daily.
-You or someone you know has hosted an illegal pet.
-Your room was overrun by crickets.
-And you know who the culprit is.
-You've colored in the Shelter basement, watched movies and eaten pancakes in Greenport, and/or played Magic in Mattituck.
-"This ain't yo home,"
-And yet...you secretly love it.
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