Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm alive, I'm alive

June ends in a frenzy. This reminds me of the old ways. Five different places in one day, miles between and more to do but I go, I go.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The greatest of teachers won't hesitate

Road trips bring out the best parts of me: adventurous and inspired, laidback and ready. I keep good company with myself. I travel for the sake of it. Not running from, not running to. Simply moving. You have to love this road. It becomes you.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

We're too cool to be here long

But not too crazy to get busted.

(Entry started last night and finished today.)

Whilst cranky earlier, I had the sudden urge to download an old song that I loved (and that inspired the domain name of this blog). As expected, it improved my life.

Listen. Love it.

...

It's easy to romanticize the beauty of the writing process. Honestly, I spend a decent amount of time hedging. I hedge very well. I think about what I should write, and submit, and sort of frolic around until I make it happen.

But tonight was a good night. Took the laptop to Starbucks, sat in the corner, and got going. No putzing about or Googling around after I type a sentence. I just wrote, and it went, and I was satisfied.

On these nights, I believe that I can make it as far as I strive to go.

#174: Laura Marling, "Old Stone"
#175: Laura Marling, "Blackberry Stone"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

sleep with one eye open

I took a bit of a break from being a useful person this weekend. There were dance floors that needed feet, ears that needed thousands of teenage girls to scream into them, sketchy parking lots that needed company, actors that needed applause, hearts that needed to be wrenched.

I was quite happy.

There is much negative self-talk, and it returned yesterday in full force. I preach to my gymnasts about positive thinking and thought replacement before their big skills. I talk about how easy it is to psyche one's self out. I should know.

Today I'm working on a short piece about paranoia. I thought it would be fiction, but it seems to lean toward non. And if it's going to be non, and if I send it out, I wonder if I should attach my real name to it. Because I'm paranoid. And so life follows art.

#169: Bon Iver, "Perth"
#170: Ghosts of Paraguay, "Needing You"
#171: Mt. Eden Dubstep, "Still Alive"
#172: Morgan Page, "Fight For You"
#173: John Denver, "Country Roads"

Thursday, June 16, 2011

written through the lens of another

Last night, I was chattin' with babes on the Internet (Dom) and working on two pieces. One, I'd just started. It was a "real" piece, one that would "matter."

The other I found accidentally. I'd started it in January. Upon rereading, I had that moment of, "Hey, this is decent and I wish I had kept going with it." Momentum rested with the latter.

Both are nonfiction and circle similar circumstances. I'm in both of them. But it became clear very quickly why the second was (and is) more interesting: it's not about me.

I suppose it is, at the end of the day. But it's more oblique. There is less "follow me around as I meditate upon things" and more "action happening now and I'm there!" More movement. I get out of myself to follow myself.

With the second piece rolling, I see opportunities now to bring in the "real stuff" of the first. Slip it in so that it's there, so that it still holds weight, but it doesn't bring down the other pages. They wish to fly.

...

#167: My Morning Jacket, "Holdin' On to Black Metal" (I knew this sounded familiar!)
#168: Pone Tala Pone, with YouTube saying that the rest is "PM 7 - 60S Psych, Freakbeat from Thailand." How can you turn away? (Just don't stare at the screen for long.)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

dissipates

Why are the people outside of my window speaking with the rain?

#166: Regina Spektor, "Fidelity"

Monday, June 13, 2011

give me the beat, boys

I think today, I'll let the music speak.

#162: Neil Young, "Old Man"
#163: Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, "Down By the River"
#164: Allman Brothers, "Ramblin' Man"
#165: AC/DC, "For Those About to Rock"

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I'm supposed to be here at 9:30. I arrived at 8:56. Who am I?

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Set fire to the rain

I love the electricity.

In other news,

I made minor edits to the template.

If you'll take a gander to your right -->, there is a tiny blurb to serve as a bio, plus a search option.

The search box is there mainly so I can see if I'm repeating songs. But you can most certainly use it, too, however you'd like to.

Additionally, Flo and I will be writing a Disney movie, with a score composed by our MFA/musical friends.

End scene.

...

#161: Belle and Sebastian, "I Want The World to Stop"

If the medium fits...

Smart phones stress me out. I hunch over the teeny-tiny screen and carefully hit each letter. Oops. Gotta back it up and start all over. I visit my normal websites but feel restricted. I know I can pinch my fingers to zoom in or spread them to zoom out. But there's a feeling of I'll just wait until I'm on my computer.

People like my wondrous boyfriend find so much to do on these beasts: apps for heart rate, exercise, journaling, gaming, remote controlling, adjusting studio lights. Spreadsheets (we know how I feel about those) and Office documents.

But I just can't get into that small of a space. The solution would be a larger phone, but they're tremendous and remind me of old cordless phones (remember those?). Or something even larger, like an iPad, but those are silly-looking and completely unnecessary to anyone's lives.

Then something mysterious happened. I became the owner of an iPad.

And...I kinda love it.

The size is just right. I can scoot around the Internet with enough room so that I can see everything without feeling as though I'm straining. And the touch keyboard with the sideways orientation -- love! I fly along.

I can actually picture myself writing on this apparatus, which was what I'd hoped for -- something that functioned like a netbook in capabilities and size, with fun touchy qualities.

Will I write on it for an extended period of time? Will another novel be born? We shall see.

...

#160: Sade, "No Ordinary Love"

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

disclosure and canciones

I've hooked up my super awesome new piece of technology and the registration page loads. Please enter your name, address, and phone number. I can bypass all of that, right? I don't want spam in the mail or calls from telemarketers.

I click "Next."

The red error message: Please fill out the following fields.

I have always hesitated when it comes to sharing personal information. Why do you need to know where I live or how old I am? No, I do not want email updates. No, no, no.

How closely do I write to my real life on this blog, and where do I stop? Do I write about the burning things for everyone, or for myself? Do I give real names to people and places, or adopt my own?

Flo and I talked blog at the BBQ, where Flo said something in the vein of, "I don't give a shiz about the details of people's personal lives" and I responded with something like, "Oh, I love that stuff." I do -- I love being in other people's heads and in other lives. But I'm not willing to divulge as much.

I started a piece in a workshop two years ago. It generated a good amount of energy, both in the writing of it and in the responses from classmates and the teacher. But it dealt with people and places in maybe too honest a way. For now.

It seems that I can't get away from writing about life, or something very parallel to it. I've mentioned many times my love for nonfiction. But even so. I drift near the current and paddle back.

...
#141: Maroon 5, "Never Gonna Leave This Bed"
#142: Howie Day, "Sorry So Sorry"
#143: Keane, "Somewhere Only We Know"
#144: Muse, "Undisclosed Desires"
#145: Soundgarden, "Spoonman"
#146: Placebo, "Running Up That Hill"
#147: The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
#148: Arctic Monkeys, "I Bet You Look Good On the Dance Floor"
#149: Atreyu, "Right Side of the Bed"
#150: The Kooks, "Naive"
#151: Phoenix, "Run Run Run"
#152: Fenix TX, "Threesome"
#153: Green Day, "21 Guns"
#154: Bullet For My Valentine, "Your Betrayal"
#155: Miike Snow, "Silvia"
#156: Miike Snow, "Animal"
#157: Diana Krall, "You Go To My Head"
#158: Emmylou Harris, "Making Believe"
#159: Brad Paisley, "Old Alabama"

Whew!

Sunday, June 05, 2011

buenos dias

It's been a jam-packed five days of traveling, humidity, traumatizing childhood amusement park rides, and good people.

Therefore, there are quotes:

Me: "Every time Coach Kim texts me, it shows up as a blank text."
Kyleigh, age 7: "Does he have AT&T? AT&T is the worst."

"Next week at this time, we'll be at the club!" - Rob, 5 pm on a Friday

"It's where I belong." - Matt, discussing the flip phone

Danielle: "Hey, Flo."
Flo: "I'll cut you. What?"

Me: "How's your Tumblr going?"
Flo: "I've already stopped updating."

Friday, June 03, 2011

I love it when my characters have trust issues!

Thursday, June 02, 2011

When I woke up at 3:56 am For the airport, I thought, "At least I'll be in the same time zone." I like that - traveling enough to disorient myself.