I believe that what we fear in other people is actually what we fear in ourselves. That all the time I spend worrying that you will or won't is because I wonder, Will I?
And what does it mean if I do?
Because now I feel differently. Before it was almost all futile but now I'm not sure. This is precisely the way these things happen to me and I know what I always said then and how I tried to run and twist away but now--
I want it.